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Kate Winslet has a new gentleman caller, but who is he? And can you name Justin Bieber's pet snake? 1 A selection of features in the debut issue of whose new magazine were entitled: "I Will Get Married Again! The REAL truth about the headlines"; "What My Tattoos Mean"; "How to Cook My Perfect Sunday Roast"; "Things You Might Not Know About Me"; and "Making My Magazine"? a) Nadine Dorries b) Katie Price c) Mary Warnock 2 Of what did axed Fox News advertiser-bane Glenn Beck declare: "There is no way to beat this. This is propaganda and it's an anthem. It's an anthem saying, 'Join us'. How can you and I possibly win against that?" a) Fox News b) A conscription drive by evil underwater being Cthulu c) The TV comedy-drama Glee 3 Who did Nancy Dell'Olio describe as "like John F Kennedy", adding that "he used the power of the media and of football to talk about a modern kind of politics"? a) Bill Shankly b) Silvio Berlusconi c) Tony Blair 4 What is the name of Kate Winslet's new gentleman caller, with whom she began a relationship after surviving a house fire on Richard Branson's luxury Caribbean retreat, Necker island? a) Ned Rocknroll b) Ted Glockenspiel c) Ged Kockring 5 During an appearance on BBC Breakfast to discuss the subject of crying and the modern man, of what word did Alex "Reidernator" Reid splutter: "That's a big word. I don't know that word", shortly before dropping in an unsolicited plug for his new gym business? a) Shameless b) Overpromotion c) Stoicism 6 Who thundered of Wayne Rooney's contract brinkmanship: "[He] may become as rich as Croesus. But has he no one close to him who will explain that in doing so, he will become bankrupt of respect and integrity?" a) Eamonn Holmes, who recently hinted he might have been offered a job on Daybreak, before accepting a new contract from his employers Sky (salary and package undisclosed) b) The boss of part-nationalised Lloyds Banking Group, shortly before awarding himself an eleventy million-pound bonus c) Simon Cowell, just to amuse himself 7 What is the name of Justin Bieber's pet snake, who was auctioned off for charity after failing to work out as an idea in Bieberworld? a) Willy b) Johnson c) Dick 8 B-movie actress Angelina Jolie is the answer to many of the world's most complex and intractable problems. What awards has she been given in recognition of her work? a) None. Charity is its own reward b) One. Awards are mainly given to people who work full time in aid, as opposed to on a few days a year in between making several million dollars a movie c) At least five so far: The UN Refugee Agency's tribute award; the UN Refugee Agency's inaugural Global Humanitarian Action award; the inaugural Church World Service Immigration and Refugee Program Humanitarian award; the UN Correspondents' Citizen of the World award; and the International Rescue Committee's Freedom award 9 According to an exclusive photospread in the Daily Mirror, who took part in a "traditional village shura" in Afghanistan's Helmand province, "where soldiers sit down with village elders to discuss problems"? a) Jeremy Kyle b) Cheryl Cole c) Liz Jones 10 What is the current touring stage show of contrite talkSPORT Neanderthals Richard Keys and Andy Gray entitled? a) Have It b) Smash It c) Sod It 11 Because awards are in no way given to those who'll show up to receive them, who won mid-mesozoic gong concept Rear of the Year in June? a) Pippa Middleton b) Carol Vorderman c) Some other arse 12 In October, Lindsay Lohan's publicist chirpily announced that his client has showed up for her current assignment "20 minutes early". What was the gig? a) A film b) A shoot for Playboy c) Community service at the morgue for violating the conditions of her DUI sentence 13 Who sued The Hangover II for breach of copyright? a) Mike Tyson's tattooist b) A man who claimed its plot exactly mirrored his blog account of his pre-wedding hi-jinks c) Hollywood, collectively, on the basis that it didn't have an original idea in it 14 Following a charity football match in June, a member of which boy band tweeted that he'd had "a fight with Alastair Campbell (yes the MP) [sic]", only for Campbell to make accusatory reference to his band's "spindocs"? a) One Direction b) The Wanted c) The Jackson 5 15 At a concert for a Russian "charity" that does not appear to disperse funds, which of the following took place? a) Woody Allen played clarinet and autographed a Hummer b) Kevin Costner and his band played a set, with Kevin explaining what every one of his songs meant c) Steven Seagal waltzed with a young girl whose wish was to dance with a movie star d) Advertised guests Larry King and Dustin Hoffman were suddenly "taken ill" at the last minute and pulled out of attending 16 Of which creature did Dublin police claim they had put "too many man-hours into", while harassed neighbours rang local radio stations to complain of its activities? a) Bono's peacock b) Louis Walsh's unicorn c) Jedward's griffin Want to know how you did? Then check the answers here. Marina Hyde
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