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The Red Sox have never understood Daisuke Matsuzaka, and they may have been more than a little intimidated by him and his agent Scott Boras. From the start, Theo Epstein shelled out the most dollars his bosses could afford for the right to speak to Daisuke. Considering how much English the pitcher has learned in five years, that’s about $25 million per word. Matsuzaka displays the temperament of famous recluses J.D. Salinger and Greta Garbo combined. He wants to be alone and in a bunker. Pitching coaches like John Farrell may well have quoted old Dick Williams, who said of one of his Sox players decades ago: “Talking to him is like talking to cement.” Yes, Daisuke kept his own routines, ignored Sox requests, and pitched the way he wanted. That meant hundreds of extra pitches to walk the long and winding road to the bank. The Sox brass in their bizarre wisdom sent him to Club Med for half the season last year, so he could heal. Whatever ailed Dice-K, it seemed that the waters of the Gulf were the answer. The only ones who needed therapy last season were the Sox brass. Now Dice-K is likely returning to Japan on a personal matter. Dollars to donuts that the Sox have no idea what is on Matsuzaka’s mind! He could be walking away from them. He could be having another medical opinion. He could be laughing as he stands at the ATM. From the start of a game to the end, Manager Terry Francona vacillates like one of Tim Wakefield’s knuckleballs. He has no idea what’s going on, and you can see it in his ever-slow-burning patience. Dice-K may have Tommy John surgery, or Dice-K won’t have Tommy John surgery. It sounds a great deal like: “He loves me; he loves me not.” We got news for you, Theo. He doesn’t love you, but he likes your money. If Dice-K ever returns to Boston, it might be too soon for the dodo birds in the Sox front office. They may as well be members of the bird-watching society at the Fens. There goes another grackle bird, Theo.
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