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This week, we get to delve into one teen's TWO horrifying conditions: anorexia and teen pregnancy!
Now, I never really thought about these two together before. I heard that if you're anorexic you don't get your period anyway, so I guess I just thought it was unlikely that you'd get pregnant when your body is basically eating itself anyway. However, our star, Kayla, was actually finally recovering from the anorexia she was diagnosed with at 13 (13 & Anorexic? New show?) when she became pregnant, and she suffers a seriously dangerous relapse. I have to say, I alternated between wanting to hug Kayla and adopt her and be her mom, and wanting to punch her in the face. At least I had a strong reaction, which is better than the vanilla girls we've had in past weeks. Mm, all this anorexia talk is making me hungry.
I have to fully disclose and say that, like (I think) most girls, I made a brief attempt at bulimia in middle school when I was turd shaped and ate like 17 pieces of cake. (I am now a turd with boobs.) I just didn't have the stomach for it, or, more specifically, the gag reflex, so I gave up. I like absorbing the nutrients from my food. I can see how bulimia could be tempting, though - all the yummy; none of the calories. Anorexia has never made sense to me. I absolutely wouldn't have the self control.
Let's meet our star this week.
So You Think You Can Dance Kayla + Ratatouille =
Sixteen & Pregnant Kayla!
Now, in the past few weeks, we've had some pretty villainous boyfriends stealing the spotlight. This week's baby daddy, Mike, is about as inconspicuous as someone selected for reality can be. He seems pretty nice, like he might be a nerd and he makes this face a lot:
Confused face meets dumb necklace.
The real villain in this episode is partly Kayla's anorexia, which I was pretty sure at one point was going to kill her or her baby or both, and HER MOM. Her mom is the SHITTIEST MOM EVER. I don't even want to show a picture of her because her appearance isn't evil enough and I suck at photoshop. Where's that person who recaps Project Runway and always had the blood pouring from Ivy's mouth?
My MTV.com pulled some real shenanigans on me this week. First, it started playing the episode from the middle, so I watched it all in completely the wrong order and got briefly excited that the show had decided to break the formula. Nope! Their website just sucks.
Let's begin. Kayla and her man Mike are from Minnesoter (score one for the Midwest! Take that South), which is why they and everyone around them talk in a hilariously Canadian way. I definitely caught some 'aboots' or at least some 'aboats.' (That's 'about' for those of you who don't have a mom from Minnesoter like I do!)
Kayla and Mike have been together for two years. Kayla's parents are divorced, and her mom was also a teen mom. We don't ever see her dad. She got pregnant on Mike's birthday, on his 100 Dalmations Sheets after watching Juno. Talk about being conceived under a bad sign. They weren't using birth control, obvi, although somehow they managed to make it through at least the first year of the relationship baby free. (Do they think there's a statute of limitations on unprotected sex?? Do they think the vagina becomes immune?? Do they think his sperm must have run out?? I DON'T GET IT.) Kayla discovered she was preggers after her mom forced her to take a pregnancy test - she was puking and being extra cranky. Unlike previous moms, Kayla's mom really didn't want her to get an abortion. Kayla didn't even really think about getting one.
When the episode begins, Mike has moved into Kayla and her mom's house from an hour away. Since he's already graduated high school, he's putting off college to work a part time job at the mall (EEEEEEKKKKK). Kayla's saviors are her friends from gymnastics team, who are really pretty and sweet and enthusiastic and try to convince her that she is not, in fact, fat. Kayla's mom, who used to be her best friend, is becoming more and more distant and constantly hanging out with her boyfriend, also named Mike. (OMG they could be miles away and simultaneously screaming "OH MIKE!!" ahhh creepy! I am really sick today.)
hehe.. wait which mike am i again
Kayla gets support by having constant sleepovers with her girlfriends. On the one hand, that's adorable. I wish I still had sleepovers, but now I only have the sexy kind or the kind where one of my friends is too drunk to get home and pukes on my hamster's cage. Kayla and her friends sleep in the same room and play taboo. (Sample: "the two first people on the planet who ate the bad apple." "Ummm.. ummm..." Seriously, nobody got it.)
Mike and Kayla's mom are both shockingly laidback about the pregnancy. Her mom actually says, "You actually can't plan for something like this. I think everything will just fall into place." Mike, on the other hand, has no idea where any of the money for the baby stuff will come from or what they need or how much it will cost, but thinks everything will be okay. They take a sad wandering around the baby store, looking at crap they can't afford and trying to figure out which things they can get away without. Kayla asks her mom for advice, but she doesn't offer any.
Kayla's mom (I won't dignify her with a name!) spends almost all of her time at her boyfriend's house. She doesn't eat meals or hang out with Kayla at all; in fact, every time they see each other Kayla prefaces it with "I asked my mom to meet me so we could talk." :( The one time they schedule a girls night to bond, Kayla's mom ditches her for last minute tickets to the Twins game. Yea, the Twins. Really. Kayla cries and luckily has pretty gymnastic friends to visit her. When Kayla says "I just want you to be a mom to me" and asks to spend more time with her, Kayla's mom pretty much blows her off: "I have a life too." Bitch. I hate her. Bitch bitch bitch.
I HATE THIS BITCH. Someone please edit something mean onto her dumb crooked eye face!
Let's talk about the anorexia situation, which was honestly pretty freaky. Every time Kayla goes to an appointment, the doctors are worried because she hasn't gained enough weight. In the end, I think she gains about half of the recommended weight. Kayla freaks out at her six month appointment because she's gained TWELVE POUNDS. I think I have gained twelve pounds in the past six months, and that's all food baby. She actually asks the doctor, "Is it possible to lose weight during a pregnancy and have it be okay at all?" Her doctor is like ummmmm. NO. Kayla admits to frequently skipping meals, crying when she looks in front of the mirror, and hiding her belly behind pillows because she feels disgusting fat. (Keep in mind that I think I have about 40 pounds on her at her heaviest point.) Her friends and Mike are there for her, telling her she's beautiful and needs to be healthy for the baby and trying to force her to eat, but it doesn't seem to be doing much.
When Kayla heads to a friends house to get a paper mache cast of her belly (aww! but the worst thing for an anorexic person ever!) the shit really hits the fan. Having eaten nothing but some Nilla wafers all day (bad press for Nilla wafers) Kayla starts to feel lightheaded and sick and blind and starts having contractions at only 7 months. She is taken to the hospital, where it is again pressed upon her that she should be eating for TWO PEOPLE not .25 people. She could have gone in to preterm labor or lost the baby. But nope, after this she doesn't start eating more, even after seeing a nutritionist. Her mom also sucks. When the nutritionist asks how many family meals they eat together - because Kayla shouldn't be eating alone - the mom dodges the answer "0" by saying she thinks Kayla should eat alone because it's too stressful to have people watch her eat. The nutritionist shoots that bullshit down - Kayla needs reminders to eat, needs to be distracted, and needs her eating to be less secretive.
^ doesn't know what to do
Honestly, I don't think her doctors were really hard enough on her about this. Maybe they didn't know all that was going on - but I know anorexia can kill a girl in the prime of youth, so what can it do to a pregnant woman and her baby??? This is where all the punch Kayla in the face urge comes in. I know she has a really serious disorder, but how did nobody get her any hardcore therapy to help her through this?? Uncontrollable weight gain, as Kayla points out, is an anorexic's worst nightmare even if there's a baby in there.
This leads me to the questions - does this count as child abuse? Reckless endangerment? If her baby died would it be neglect? I feel like starving yourself while pregnant should probably be just as illegal as getting drunk or doing crack. Law and medical people, inform me.
Blahhh. Anyway, Mike and Kayla finally decide on the undernourished baby's name: Preston. They choose Preston over Ashton because they think it sounds cooler. Really? Can't Hardly Wait Anyone?
Kayla's mom proves her absolute horribleness the night Kayla goes in to labor. Kayla feels fluid running down her legs and cramps, but doesn't know if it's labor. (It's labor.) She runs to her mom's room to ask advice, and her mom tells her to LIE DOWN AND SEE IF IT FEELS BETTER. Kayla realize
s that is retarded advice so she leaves for the hospital with her Mike.
At this point, my mtv.com completely crapped out and kept saying "video not found!" I couldn't watch the birth scene. However, I did read that it was TWENTY THREE HOURS LONG and ended in a C-section, so I guess I'm glad I didn't see it. It resulted in the delivery of a miraculously healthy Preston baby.
'I am determined not to live up to the sophistication of my name'
Also during the scene I missed Kayla's mom asks Mike to start paying rent, because she's an evil bitch.
Final nail in Kayla's mom's coffin: SHE ASKS KAYLA TO GO ON A DIET WITH HER. Like, WEEKS after she's given birth. Kayla rightly looks at her mom like she's a fucking alien. Mom? Remember that time I don't eat anything anyway because I'm ANOREXIC and it almost killed my baby? Her mom actually says "I think you might actually know better than me about this stuff because of your eating disorder and everything." What is she saying? Teach me how to be anorexic? Your anorexia is awesome, let's do it together? I hate this woman. Luckily, Kayla realizes what a truly terrible and uncomprehending thing her mom has done by asking her to diet together, and says no.
Kayla also points out that they wouldn't be able to keep track of each other's eating, since they never eat together anyway. Her mom says they'd start to eat meals together. Kayla asks, "So you would come home to eat with me then go off with your boyfriend again?" Mom: "After we eat." Wow. Just wow. I mean, my mom has asked me to do Weight Watchers a couple time, but I'm not anorexic and could stand to lose a few. Kayla's mom is a piece of crap. I'm getting really angry again while writing this.
nommy baby make me squee better
Another reason why she's a piece of crap? In the middle of the winter, the heat goes out in the house. In Minnesota, this could literally be a fatal disaster. I'm from Maine, so I know. Old people and babies dies from that shit all the time. Since Kayla's mom is at her boyfriend's house for the weekend and doesn't care, Mike, Kayla and baby Preston have to go to a hotel to sleep so they can, you know, live.
Kayla asks her mom to "meet" her a final time so they can talk things out. Kayla reaches out about how she feels abandoned and has lost her mom as her best friend, how her mom is never around, how she has been a horrible support during the pregnancy, etc. The response: "I tried. That's all I can say."
why does my grandma suck so many balls? is what i'm sure he's thinking
That's pretty much where the episode ends. Since Kayla is essentially momless, Mike works full time to support her and the baby and then helps out at the house. "If it wasn't for him, I don't know what I'd do," clams Kayla. Probably you wouldn't be pregnant in the first place, but I guess we're past that. Kayla's pretty sad in her closing interview; all her friends are going off to college next year, and she's missing out on the best parts of high school. (I don't understand high school nostalgia at all, just saying.) I'm unclear on whether she actually graduates high school on time or gets her GED.
Saddest line ever: "I thought since my mom was a teen mom she would stick with me and be my biggest support system." Instead, she abandoned Kayla. "I want Preston to know that I'll never abandon him." WAHHHHH
She talks about her life falling apart around the pregnancy, how she'll never forgive her mom, and how she never thought she'd repeat her mom's "MISTAKE" (her words not mine.) Good thing she didn't internalize being an unwanted teen pregnancy, huh?
I watched the aftershow, too. Apparently Kayla and Mike broke up from the lack of romance after the baby was born. Mike still helps out and takes him every other weekend. Kayla's mom loves Preston, but is still a bitch. Kayla plans to go get a two year degree in some health care related thing.
Well, that's all. Two PSAs about anorexia/pregnancy prevention, eighteen million Teen Wolf commercials that inexplicably repeated 6 times per break, sixteen Confused Mike faces, and one 'video not found' later, Kayla is sad and alone but loves the crap out of her baby. One out of three ain't bad.
We can't end without putting her through the uglifier!
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